Chapter 4: Roald Dahl's Sex Magic
"Roald Dahl's Sex Magic" is the fourth episode of the Puffin Publishing Podcast Recording & Release "Roald Dahl's Sex Magic" was conceived, recorded, and performed by TV's Kevin Lanigan, Joe Konroy, Justin Germeroth, Gabe Levy, and Vern Tooley, and was released on iTunes and Soundcloud June 1st, 2016. Sketches Included * Bare on the Bearskin with Roald Dahl * Sunday Morning Cincinatti * Ayn Rand's Motherhood * Sci-Fi Sequel Pitches * An Elevator Ride with Clive Cussler * A Haunting by James Patterson * The End of the Podcast * Blooper Reel Synopsis of Sketches "Bare on the Bearskin with Roald Dahl" Children's and young adult's fantasy writer invites you, the listener, on a virtual date with Roald Dahl where you can see his BFD if you stay till the end. Characters featured: * Roald Dahl (TV's Kevin Lanigan * You, the listener (mentioned) "Sunday Morning Cincinatti" Cincinnati's finest new author talks about his new book on public radio, extremely reluctantly. Character's featured: * Sunday Morning Cincinnati Host (TV's Kevin Lanigan) * Jim (Vern Tooley) "Ayn Rand's Motherhood" Creator of the Objectivist movement Ayn Rand returns from Ayn-Con and refuses to provide her child Paypay with a toy. Characters featured: * Ayn Rand (Justin Germeroth) * Paypay (TV's Kevin Lanigan) "Sci-Fi Sequel Pitches" Times are slow at Puffin Publishing, so T.S. Wiggles pushes PufPub authors to add monsters to already pre-existing books. Characters featured: * T.S. Wiggles (Joe Konroy) * Mario Puzo, "auter of Da Godfadda" (TV's Kevin Lanigan) * Saint Paul (Vern Tooley) * Jules Verne (TV's Kevin Lanigan) * Sean Connery (Nate Nguepsi) * Unnamed Russian Author (TV's Kevin Lanigan) * James Patterson (TV's Kevin Lanigan * Tom Clancy (mentioned) "An Elevator Ride with Clive Cussler" The Heather Graham Guy's elevator routinely breaks down while Clive Cussler is inside, so they have to talk to each other. Characters featured: * Clive Cussler (Justin Germeroth) * The Heather Graham Guy (TV's Kevin Lanigan) * The Ghost Writer (Justin Germeroth) * Jacques Cousteau (mentioned) * Jules Verne (mentioned) * H.P. Lovecraft (mentioned) * Heather Graham (mentioned) * Judy Blume (mentioned) "A Haunting by James Patterson" PufPub editor Jimothy finds everyone and everything in his home becoming husks of James Patterson. Characters featured: * Jimothy (Joe Konroy) * Jimothy's wife, Beccany (TV's Kevin Lanigan) * James Patterson (TV's Kevin Lanigan) * Jimothy's dead mother, Cassandamn (TV's Kevin Lanigan) * Tibby/Dog Patterson (TV's Kevin Lanigan) * Mr. Squiggles/James Catterson (TV's Kevin Lanigan) * The Very Moon (TV's Kevin Lanigan "The End of the Podcast" Characters featured: * Your host, Nahinyom Ybbob * Danny Gans * Jane Curtain * Joni Jablonski * Luke Wrinkles * A hand full of sand * Sarah Smallowitz * Cherry Poppins * Robert Napkins * Will Forte * Joe Crescendo * Melvin Junko * Spooks McKenzie * Tish Ubox * Penis McGillicutty * Apple Bottoms Jeans * Boot with the Fur * Nuts-2-You * The animatronic band from a Chuck E. Cheese * The cast of Return to Nukem High * A little old lady lady ladyhoo! * Special guest, Nate Nguepsi as Sean Connery * Bart * A cartoon by Robert Smigel * Musical guest, the two dead Beatles * An exerpt from Childish Gambino's "Freaks and Geeks" as performed by Don Pardo * Bobby Moynihan "Blooper Reel" Scene cut from "The Heather Guy v. The Ghost Writer", featuring TV's Kevin Lanigan and Justin Germeroth. Trivia * This is the first episode of the Podcast to feature bloopers at the end. * This episode marks the first appearances of Ayn Rand, Paypay, The Ghost Writer, and Jim. * Roald Dahl is one of many characters to survive a sketch that was cut as soon as it was recorded entitled "The Conspiracy to Kill J.K. Rowling," in which children's book authors attempt to take out Rowling to "leave room for the rest of us." The others survivors are Taro Gomi (author of Everybody Poops) and Joe Konroy's embodiment of Dr. Seuss. * Roald Dahl's personality is based on his incredibly dirty sense of humor in real life. For instance, everyone is familiar with the scene from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory where everyone is licking wallpaper that tastes like snozzberries. Snozzberries are, according to the real world Roald Dahl, dicks. He had a bunch of kids licking dicks. * In the "Sunday Morning Cincincatti" sketch, the only instruction TV's Kevin was given by Vern Tooley was to keep asking what Jim's book was, no matter how much he protested. Fergie's Son, Missouri was a complete surprise to TV's Kevin. * TV's Kevin's original edit of the sketch had the music continue on after Jim's title reveal, but Vern suggested they cut the sound entirely. This has led to many people thinking the podcast malfunctioned while listening to it. Oh, well. * The voice of Paypay was developed by TV's Kevin while working at Starbucks, an all-purpose baby voice that, through a Starbucks headset, sounds exactly like one of his coworkers. * "Sci-Fi Sequel Pitches" is the lone survivor of a series of sketches where the cast and guests get in a line and are received by a straight man as they throw out various ideas. Its closest companion is "The Whitest House." The main problem with the other sketches of this ilk is that "they're just not very funny." * The Unnamed Russian Author talking about kelpies is just one of many examples of the Puffin boys just straight up getting something wrong on the podcast and leaving it in. * TV's Kevin's reaction to the Ghost Writer's arrival is very genuine as he had no idea any of that was going to happen. * Another episode where H.P. Lovecraft is mentioned before he ever appeared. * Justin Germeroth loves doing his own foley. TV's Kevin Lanigan hates Justin Germeroth doing his own foley. * James Patterson using the names "Jimothy" and "Beccany" are an homage to Wits, the podcast and radio show. * The host of this episode's fake SNL is "Nahinyom Ybbob," which is "Bobby Moynihan" backwards. * The name "Robert Napkins" that Don Pardo utters is another of the fake names castmember Vern frequently goes back to. * Don Pardo says not one but two references to Troma films by mentioning that both the cast of "Return to Nuke 'Em High" and Melvin Junko appeared on the podcast. "Return to Nuke 'Em High" is a Troma film released in 2013 and Melvin Junko is one of two names given to the janitor who was a lowly 90lb. weakling until nuclear waste transformed him into a hideously deformed creature of superhuman size and strength, The Toxic Avenger.